What Are temper Tantrums in children?

What Are temper Tantrums in children?

Written by Deepak Bhagat, In General, Published On
January 7, 2024

Tantrums, often known as temper tantrums, are emotional outbursts that result from frustration or rage. They can exhibit a variety of behaviors, including biting, flailing, kicking, striking, and shouting, in addition to yelling and screaming.

What Causes Temper Tantrums?

Every tantrum ultimately stems from one thing: not receiving what they desire. For children between 1 and 2, tantrums often stem from trying to communicate a need—like for more milk, a diaper change, etc.

Tantrums are more of a power struggle for older toddlers. Children have become more independent by the time they are 3 or 4 years old.

When your child is in preschool, they can communicate their needs to you verbally, but that doesn’t mean their temper tantrums are finished. They are still figuring out how to control their emotions, so even a small argument might become out of hand. Your youngster may get especially irritated when they require assistance because they appreciate their developing independence. Some people lose it when they attempt a difficult task, like tying their shoes, and find they can’t accomplish it by themselves.

It is vital to keep in mind that tantrums do not indicate poor parenting. They actually play a crucial developmental role in children.

Can Temper Tantrums Be Prevented?

temper Tantrums in children

While toddler tantrums, which appear to come out of nowhere, might feel wildly unexpected, there are things you can do to reduce the likelihood of toddler tantrums happening, such as:

  • Exemplify good behavior. Do not scream or shout.
  • Recognize typical triggers so you can avoid them. Tantrums can be brought on by a variety of things, including tiredness, anxiety, overstimulation, and hunger.
  • Assist your youngster in comprehending their feelings. Children can express their emotions by using phrases like “This makes me angry because” or “I am feeling sad/ hungry/etc.”

How to Handle Toddler Tantrums

How to handle your toddler’s tantrum is definitely something you’re pondering if your child is kicking, screaming, and shouting as you’re losing your cool. While there isn’t a single best course of action, the majority of specialists agree on what doesn’t. Yelling and spanking (or striking of any sort) are at the top of the “don’t” list, but strategies like bribery, pleading, and giving in aren’t excellent, either. If you give in, you are rewarding the tantrum and ensuring that they will repeat. Even if they are outraged about it, children need to understand that “no” means “no.”

Temper Tantrum Tricks From Parents

temper Tantrums in children

  • Immediately deal with aggressive conduct

Does your child act violently During a tantrum —hitting, biting, or hurling things? Stop them right now and get them out of there. Make it clear that while injuring others or oneself is unacceptable, hurting others is acceptable. Consider this: “It’s okay to be furious with me, but hitting is not okay. I won’t allow you to strike me. Or: “You’re upset because your block tower fell. It’s alright. Throwing your blocks, however, is not acceptable.

  • Avoid screaming

Keep in mind that when it comes to controlling their rage, you are a role model for your child. They will eventually shout in response to your yelling because they secretly want to interact and connect with you. In the middle of the commotion, staying calm may be facilitated by concentrating on the fact that they are upset or unhappy.

If you do raise your voice, which happens to the best of us, say you’re sorry and request a second chance. I apologize. I don’t want to talk to you in that way. Can we begin again?”

  • Permit your kid to feel furious

A young person occasionally needs to vent their fury. So let them.

They are able to express their emotions, gather themselves, and restore composure without participating in a screaming match or a struggle of wills with you.

Be a source of comfort and reassurance. The goal is to allow your child to experience their emotions in a supportive, safe environment, not to disregard them and distance yourself from them.

  • Choose your fights

Allowing little tantrums might sometimes be a wise move. While threats like “I’ll give you ice cream if you stop crying!” are rarely effective long-term, you may accede to your child’s request to listen to the same song repeatedly in exchange for a calm vehicle journey, for instance.

  • Issue succinct orders

direct orders may frequently prevent tantrums. It’s better even if they are more precise. Give your kid a specific activity to perform if showing tantrums. “Let’s color” is far more specific than general requests like “Be good.” A change of scenery (“Time to water the flowers!”) might also be useful.

  • Keep them busy

“Children have pretty short attention spans. Try switching gears and cheerfully stating something like, “Hey, we need some ice cream,” if your child is about to lose control at the grocery store because you won’t buy the super-sugary cereal. Do you want to choose a taste for me?

  • They deserve a hug

This is the best thing that you can do when your kid is throwing a tantrum, as it really can help them settle down. Additionally, keep quiet while you do it to avoid engaging in another pointless struggle of wills.

  • Assist in easing frustration

Your young child is sobbing and wailing because they are unable to put on their shoes. Instead, assist them in completing that work so they can feel a feeling of success.

  • Change the scene

Pick up your child and quietly transport them to a safe location if they are acting out in public. Take them somewhere where they can let off steam, like your automobile or a public toilet. Once you arrive, calmly explain your stance while being gentle. A youngster can sometimes be calmed down by simply being touched or stroked.

  • Invite them to “help.”

Make sure your youngster has eaten and had a good night’s sleep before you take them food shopping. Ask children to choose items to buy at the shop after bringing them along with you.

  • Give notice in advance

Young children dislike surprises. Give them plenty of notice the next time you’re going to leave the park or a friend’s house to prevent an uprising. Knowing what’s coming next will give them peace.

  • Maintain your demands

Re-examine the first request you made that caused your child’s tantrum once it has subsided. When they are calm, they should still pick up the toy they were refusing to take up when you asked them to. When the tears cease, don’t give them the cookie if they got off track because you told them they couldn’t have one. However, give your child praise when they comply with your instructions and accomplish what you asked. After all, you want children to remember and repeat the positive action.

  • Take a temper tantrum in stride

Don’t let your child’s brief meltdown lead you to feel guilty or out of control. Although hearing a toddler say “I hate you” might be upsetting, it’s crucial to understand that your child’s behaviors are more a manifestation of their dissatisfaction than they are a direct attack on you. Tantrums end, and your child will quickly forget about them all.


To put it mildly, managing your toddler’s tantrums may be challenging. It might be helpful to keep in mind that they are difficult for your child as well. Your youngster may simply be processing their feelings if they don’t know how else to express their distress. As a result, rather than seeing tantrums as a behavior issue, see them as chances for learning and instances when your child needs additional care.

Tantrums should become less frequent as your child’s self-control grows. Share your worries with a Child Counsellor if your child is hurting them or others hold their breath during tantrums to the point of fainting. The Child Counsellor can take into account all psychological or physical conditions that might be causing the outbursts.

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